Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Let's try that again...

For those of you who follow me on Facebook, you know that I had a horrible day yesterday. It all had to do with a car repair that took way to long and me being stranded in a coffee house in another city all day. Seriously, SEVEN hours! Anyway, I've already gone over that story many times, to anyone who would listen, in order to try and vent the anger and frustration away, so now I want to focus on something good (I think) that came out of it.

Actually, I was kind of surprised by how deeply this whole experience upset me. Sure, anger at being treated poorly and frustrated that my day was wasted seemed natural, and I was a bit worried because it was snowing so I was afraid I'd be trapped away from home because of the delay. But it went further than that and I started to experience a bit of a meltdown sitting there in that coffee house. After about the 5 hour mark, I could barely think of anything but how alone (in the world) I felt, and, not to be overly dramatic or anything, I became nearly consumed by fear and panic. Even after I got home and was safely ensconced in my warm bed I felt pretty shaky.

Okay, so that doesn't sound so good, does it. (And it's probably made at least a few of you wonder whether I should look into changing my meds.) Well, the good part is I think it's motivated me to move beyond my hermit tendencies and try to reach out more to people, including here on the internet (thus, this blogpost). There have been times when blogging has actually intensified my feelings of aloneness, so this is a test. In order to really give it a fair test, I am committing to blogging at least two times a week for the month of March.

Please, don't leave me hanging. If you're out there and you're reading this, please let me know I am actually not alone by leaving comments to these postings. Even just a "hi" would suffice (or a "like" if you come across them on Facebook).

Thank you for your time and patience, and for still being there after my long absence.

Angela

14 comments:

Jillian B. said...

I hear you, Angela! I empathize greatly with everything you're saying. You are not alone. I am so grateful to have met you in nyc at your show, through Gregory and Wade. I LOVE your art, and although we haven't known one another long at all, you are very dear to me. I appreciate you. And I appreciate and understand the hermit thing...Oh boy do I. I'm so sorry about your very trying experience the other day. Much love, Jillian <3

Angela Wales Rockett said...

Thank you so much, Jillian! And you are very dear to me as well. I am so glad to have met you too! Thank you, thank you!

andrea said...

I promise to comment but only if you come and visit me at my blog sometimes (shameless coercion :). I miss my old friends over there!

Senor Misterioso said...

You are never alone, Angela. Believe me, NYC has given me plenty of meltdowns over the years, but I always knew there were people in the world who cared about me and what I had to say.

You wrote a letter to the dealership, right?

Carolyn said...

I've tried many times to post comments on your blog but it doesn't like me. Maybe the moon is right this time. As soon as I finish this, I'm forwarding it to a friend who should be doing the same thing - reaching out. I think it was the word "hermit" that struck a chord.

Carolyn said...

YAY!

moreidlethoughts said...

Hello! (waves madly from Australia)

It's not always easy to find the balance between being and working alone and being social and still managing to work alone!

But I think a major part of the creative mind is that determination to "try again."

Oh, yes...sunshine might help! Not long now.

Angela Wales Rockett said...

Thank you all so much! Your kind words are helping me keep warm on this snowy evening. :)

Andrea: Yes! I will. That's an example of the reaching out to people I want to get back to. I faithfully read your blog, but I don't take the time to say so, and I should.

"Senor": Thank you. These words from you mean so much to me. And seeing you is always one of the high points of visiting NYC.

Oh, yes, the dealership received a letter.

Carolyn: Glad you got through this time! Hope this can help your friend too.

Dinah: Helllllooooo! *waving madly back* Glad you got home safe!

Such a tricky balance for us more introverted types. But yes, try again I shall

And yes, sunshine and warmth will help a lot. Hoping this is the last of winter for us.

pullthestars said...

*waves* I haven't talked to you in forever and ever. I love reading when you post, and I'm loving your Image of the Week. Such lovely things :)

Maya Karp said...

Angela!
I hear you! I hear you now probably more than ever. I've had some life experiences lately that seem very similar. It's a struggle to stay positive about circumstances which seem so out of our control. At least I think that's what I wrestle with... But I'm here and would love to hear from you :-)

Seth said...

One of THOSE kind of days. Glad it has passed and great that you are finding something positive from it (including the info that you are definitely not alone)!

Angela Wales Rockett said...

Kris: *waves madly back* I miss living just a few blocks from you. And, thank you! I don't always know if the image of the week is a good thing. It's good to hear that it is.

Maya: It's been forever! Hope you're doing well, and thanks for saying hi. :)

Seth: Yes, definitely one of THOSE days (heck, months). So glad when that day was over. And thank you for staying in touch! Hope your big book project is going well.

Gabrielle said...

Hey there!
I love your Change of Seasons painting that's in my front hallway and although I moved from Bloglines, I migrated your blog to where I now read it in Thunderbird. I'm looking forward to more posts to read! And yeah, I am guilty of my own hermit tendencies and haven't posted on my blog for a LONG time. I am finding it difficult to start into it again...

I had a similar experience where something moved me more than I would have thought possible. A few years ago, a large fir tree fell over in a wooded lot I often walk in, the root mass was enormous. It bothered me for days. Eventually I realized it must have affected me because the roots were such a big foundation, and the tree was so sturdy looking, yet it still fell. I wished I could have just walked past it and thought, "huh, that's a big tree" and not given it another thought...

It seems to me that intelligent, creative people tend to think more about things and sometimes they are moved deeply, when they are, it takes them by surprise.

I hope you are feeling better :)

Angela Wales Rockett said...

Hello Gabrielle! So good to hear from you! And thank you for sharing your tree experience.